Last night my husband told me that Rick Warren and his wife
were going to be on the Piers Morgan program tonight talking about the death of
his son through suicide. I don’t like Piers Morgan, but I do like Rick Warren
and prayed for the heartache he and his wife suffered over the tragic loss of
their son. Any parent can imagine the horror and anguish of such an ordeal.
Everyone has their opinion on suicide and most have been
touched or known someone whose life ended that way, or who have contemplated
ending their life through suicide.I’ve
heard some people say suicide is the coward’s way out – that it’s selfish because
of the tremendous hurt it causes those left behind.
My question is: Have you ever been suicidal? Felt despair so
deep you didn’t want to live? If you answer no, then you have no idea what
drives a person to this. I’m not talking about a trendy gesture some have who
think suicide is noble, grand or romantic. It’s not!
I was a twenty-three-year-old,
young mother of four – yes, you read that right – when on
a summer, mid-afternoon day, a ten-year-old neighbor girl,
surrounded by six of her younger siblings, was pounding on my door, screaming hysterically,
“Please, help my mom!”
I took off sprinting behind this passel of kids, raising my
hand to wave to my elderly neighbor, Sarah, whose house was between mine and
the one I was running to. Fully expecting to see a woman who had fainted, or fallen,
I stopped, numb with shock, at what I saw. I first took in the crying baby
standing at the foot of the bed in a pool of blood, then my eyes traveled to
the woman lying on the bed and the gun laying next to her head.
That was 1971. I seldom think about it, and I wonder why.
Sometimes I do think of those eight young children, and wonder if they were able
to in some extent, overcome – you never completely overcome – the sight of
their mother that day. I have often wondered what led up to that horrible day
for this sweet mother of many. To some degree, I understand the deep despair
that leads to such an excruciating, hopeless decision. I have scars on my wrist
to prove it.
Only Jesus can give hope to elevate us from that kind of
consuming despair. My prayer for you is that you know that hope Jesus offers,
AND that you are sensitive to someone you are close to who may be feeling that
despair and hopelessness.