Wealth: The Blessing and The Curse

Whenever my husband and I hear someone say, "It's not about the money," we always look at each other and say, "It's always about the money."

Writing. Maybe, just maybe, I thought I would actually make money from writing. Okay, truth time. I kind of imagined I might actually make lots of money from writing. Isn't that a common dream? To get rich from your efforts?

Now, I simply wish my writing income would be greater than my expense. Okay, more truth. I don't do marketing. I mean, I really stink at it. So, what does that mean? In today's writing world, to make money you must market. *sigh* Does that mean I have no one to blame but myself?

Then I ask myself how would I handle wealth. Could I handle wealth? Fame? Would it change me? What kind of "rich" person would I be? Nice? Generous? Stingy? Prideful? Aloof? Do any of us truly know our hearts and how we would behave in certain circumstances?  Maybe, but maybe not.

We have dear friends of almost 30 years who own several fast food chains. By several, it might be close to 20. Good people who love Jesus and others. Great example of Christianity. They are generous, but not foolish, with their money. Encouragers. Prayer warriors. Money has helped them live a comfortable life, but having money has cost dearly.

Their sons have been/are business partners. The oldest, a family man, went through a divorce and married again. Per his request, he was bought out of the family business. Then he sued his parents for more. And won. Big, big money. Months later the current wife shot him in the head while he sat on a sofa, waited 23 minutes and called police. All caught on surveillance cameras. He died and the money the wife inherited paid for lawyers. She's in prison. This is taken from a news report, I x'd the wife's name out:
XXXXX entered the living room of her central Phoenix home armed with a handgun. Her husband was sitting on the couch, talking on the phone. She raised the gun, drew a bead and fired. She sat down on the couch as he lay dying and lit a cigarette. Finally, 23 minutes later, XXXXX called 911 and reported the shooting.

And now another business partner son is going through a divorce and his wife is suing his parents, our friends, for money. The heartache and trauma has cost these dear friends immensely. Other family members have taken advantage of them because they have money. Yet -- and this is important -- they are still loving, a great source of encouragement to others, and generous. Never blaming God. Their steadfast kindness has been a blessing to me, my husband, and family. Many times. And I don't mean with money. In fact, they have been gracious to us the past couple of weeks.

I weep for these good people. Would I, if I had wealth, behave as admirably in the face of adversity as our friends have? They have a beautiful home and lovely possessions. They can take a trip whenever they want. These are blessings and benefits of money.

Money can be a blessing. Sometimes it is a cursed thing to have. If I wrote of the above in a novel as a work of fiction, I'm sure some might scratch their heads and say so much tragedy could not happen to one couple who are such a good people.

It happened. The stress and grief have shown the true character of these dear friends. When I, or you, suffer from tragedy, what comes out of us?

Sunday's On-My-Way-To-Church Inconvenient Inconvenience

Yesterday – Sunday – I was driving out of my gated community on my way to church. Normally my husband would be driving, but he was on a time constraint to finish a contracted painting job. As I pulled up to the exit gate, I saw a truck, with a young man standing beside it, parked off to the side on the entrance side. He looked distressed and was trying to call or text on his phone. Usually when this happens, someone is trying to get inside the complex but doesn’t have a code to open the gate.

I lowered my window and asked if he needed to get in – not my van, the housing complex. I was going to give him my code. Trust me, there is nothing secure about this complex. The gate codes are to give us residents the allusion of security.

The young man approached my van. He tells me: He ran out of gas, can’t get a hold of his wife, needs a gas can and ride to a gas station. He’s clean-cut, doesn’t look threatening and starts off by extending his hand and saying he’s James. He also offers me money to help him. My response to his obvious distress, “I can’t. I’m on my way to church and I’ll be late.”

What? I’m a woman and I was alone, but the minute the words left my mouth, I thought how ludicrous I sounded. How could a Christian on his/her way to church refuse to help? If I didn’t want to help, I should never have stopped. The truth? I didn’t want to be inconvenienced. My brain quickly ran through possible scenarios to help, because it only took me a few seconds to realize I was going to help.

WWJD. I remember when that was all the rage. Christians wore bracelets, necklaces, t-shirts and plastered it on everything – WWJD – What Would Jesus Do? I told the young man to get in my van. I drove him back to my house, got our gas container filled with gas for the mower, gave it to him and told him it was enough gas to get him to a gas station. (okay, I know I used the word gas a lot in that sentence) He – James – asked me about church, told me about his wife and one-year-old son, and baby girl due in three months.

He repeatedly thanked me, offered me money again. I again refused the money, but told him to return my gas container. Just put it in my driveway, I said. I felt good about helping. I felt remorse that being inconvenienced keeps me from helping more often. Shame on me. Shame on us. I was late for church, but lightning didn't strike me. And my gas can? It was not here when I returned home from church two hours later. It still hasn’t been returned.

*sigh* What Would Jesus Do? Well, Jesus might use it as a parable, so I think I’ll work this into a story. And, yes, my husband told me how dangerous the situation could have been, after he told me it was sweet of me to help.  

Christian Cougar? A Valentine Story

Valentine’s Day 2015. I am Christian. I am cougar. I am woman, hear me roar.

In1964, I was a nice Christian girl. I always excelled in school. So why did I drop out of high school and get married when I was barely 16?  And, no, I wasn’t pregnant.

Several teen couples in our church got married that year. By the time I realized there was no fairy tale ending, no happily-ever-after, I had brought five children into this world. When most girls my age were doing homework, I was having babies, cleaning and cooking, and doing laundry. I stayed in church – actively involved in church, he didn’t. I pasted a smile on my face and pretended things weren’t what they were. I was dying – both figuratively and literally. I have scars on my wrist to prove it.

Sometimes our prison becomes our comfort zone. It’s what we know; what we’re familiar with. We know how to function within the parameters of our prison. Freedom frightens us because it’s unfamiliar. I wanted to be free, but I couldn’t leave. I fasted and prayed for something to happen. Restoration. Release. God could restore and rebuild but only if my husband chose the help God offered.   

He chose to leave in 1986 after twenty two years. I blossomed. I healed. I had five beautiful children and grandchildren. There many people within and without the church who loved and nurtured me and my children.

I wanted to experience a Christian marriage. I wanted to be loved and cherished. I wanted to fall in love. I was thirty-eight and I’d never been in love. I prayed. I headed up our singles’ group at church where there were plenty of women my age but not men. Houston, we have a problem.

Jeff joined our singles’ group. He was younger. We quickly became good friends. But, hey, I had several younger guy friends in the group I hung out with. It was never romantic. Cougar? If it was a term to describe an older woman with a younger man back then, I’d never heard it. If I had heard of it, I wasn’t interested.

Grrrrrowl! Don’t call me cougar. It suggests stalking prey. That’s not me. So….while I watched Jeff and plotted how to make a move. Nope! It wasn’t like that. When I got married in September 1964, Jeff wouldn’t be born until two months later in November. He’s seven months older than my firstborn. But we did date. Off and on. For almost four years

Marriage? It wasn’t happening. He had little kids. I had raised mine. I had visions of being cast aside later when it truly hit Jeff what all our age difference entailed. Rejection and hurt? No thanks. Been there, done that.

Love doesn’t know age. In October 2014, we celebrated our twentieth anniversary. We are still in love. We respect and appreciate each other. I have some grandchildren older than his children. He became a father-in-law to two of my sons-in-law who are older than him.

It has been an adventure. Lots of hilarious situations have happened. Someday I’ll finish my book How Can A harmless Housecat Be A Cougar? You can read all about it then.  

Truth and Super Bowl XLIX

Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday. I live just a few miles from the University of Phoenix stadium where the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots faced each other to see who would be Super Bowl XLIX champions. Regardless of what team you were pulling for, or if you didn’t really care, it was a great game. The Patriots won, but, hey, GO SEAHAWKS!

My friend Kathy’s husband, Randy, although retired, works the events at the stadium for extra income. Since they’re from Seattle, it’s obvious who they wanted to win. Randy loved being in the middle of all the hype of Super Bowl, especially with the Seahawks.

Kathy and Randy attend the same church we do, and she was telling me a story yesterday at church. Randy was already at the stadium working. Kathy took her young granddaughter, Emily, to visit the NFL experience at the stadium on Saturday. While there they encountered a man passing out gospel cards saying Repent or You’re Going to Hell. The man was screaming at those passing by, “You’re all going to hell!”

When does truth become obnoxious? Counter-productive? Not everyone in that crowd was destined for hell, so it’s erroneous to scream such a statement. It was only a partial truth. As Christians, our desire should always be to only speak truth, especially when we set ourselves to be His representatives.

Remember the popularity of paraphernalia that had WWJD – What Would Jesus Do? Well, what would Jesus do if he had walked among the crowds at Super Bowl? Truth as I see it is this: Jesus would ooze love and compassion. His message would be, “I love you. Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden. The joy I give is far greater than anything you receive from Super Bowl.”

Jesus would NOT be screaming, “You’re all going to hell,” in a voice that says he’s happy to send you to hell. He weeps over a lost, hurting, and misguided humanity. Jesus has no problem confronting sin or evil, but the man Kathy encountered does not represent the Jesus I know and serve.  

Have people failed you – those claiming to be Christians? Even the most sincere, compassionate, loving Christian is still fallible, imperfect, and full of human flaws and error. Set your eyes on Jesus. He never fails. He is Truth. He is Love. He is God. 

Will My Writing Endure?

Will something you’ve written today be remembered after you’re gone? In the future, will people be reading a book you’ve written and encouraging others to read it? Will others be quoting from a blog you wrote? Will someone remember a devotion of yours as something that touched and changed them?  Is it possible that family and friends will recall something you posted on Facebook or Twitter after you’ve passed from this life?

What does it take to write something that will outlive you? Do you really want to know? I do, but I don’t have the answer. How has the Bible managed to exist all these years and still be a best seller – despite the many who have sought, and still seek, to silence its message?

For believers, we understand that the Bible is God’s inspired, anointed, infallible message to mankind. As a Christian, if my writing is inspired and anointed, it should endure after I’m gone. Perhaps only one person will read your writing when you’ve passed on. But if only that one person has been blessed or challenged or changed, isn’t it worth it? My friend, Jan, writes beautiful devotions. I would wager that most of the people touched by her devotions never tell her. That’s where trusting God comes in.

Every day I pray that God will bless the fruit and labor of my hands and mind. It’s often discouraging to write when you see no beneficial results from it. As we commit what we do to the Lord, then He is responsible for the outcome. Many times I’ve written something that was therapeutic for me – it brought healing in some area of my life. Sometimes that is the only purpose God has for something we’ve written. It is because we needed it!

Keep writing, dear friends, and trust God with the results. 

Words! Weigh What You Say!

Words! Written or spoken, the Bible has much to say about the power of words. 

NIV Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

We live in a time when everyone seems to have a chip on their shoulder. I imagine tiny creatures called Word Police who are constantly on the lookout for someone to say something that can be used against them. In an era when our words and actions can instantly be viewed by others via technology, this is easy to do.

Conservatives are ready to pounce on liberals and vice-versa. We’ve just gone through a holiday season where, again, there was the big debate over saying, “Merry Christmas.” Say Happy Holidays if you want, but don’t criticize my right to say Merry Christmas.

We also heard plenty about dear Phil, who got into hot water with his quote of scripture and speaking his personal belief and opinion. It seems to me that no matter what the topic of discussion today, there are those who deliberately bait a conservative or Christian with questions about same-sex marriage. Case in point is Piers Morgan interviewing Rick Warren on his son’s recent suicide. So, why did Piers, in that context, feel the need to ask Rick about same sex marriage?

If the whole sum of my life, or anyone’s life, can be measured only by a view on same-sex marriage, gun control, whether it’s appropriate to say Merry Christmas, legalize marijuana, or any number of controversial topics, it makes me shake my head in anguish. Those that scream tolerance the loudest are usually the most intolerant of those who disagree with them. God loves us all, but let’s not mistake His love for approval.

If we’re honest, we’ve all – conservative and liberal, Christian and atheist, homosexual or heterosexual – been guilty of spewing hatred by our words and actions against those who differ from us.

I admonish you to weigh your words, both spoken and written. When you must speak the truth, do it in love. Once something is out there, it can’t be taken back. 1 Peter 4:8 NIV says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Let’s determine in 2014 to let our words be motivated by love truth and love.

No, I Won't Write Your Life Story!

No, I will not write a book about YOUR life story! Do it yourself. I get questions all the time about how to get published, or I’ve even had a few people ask me if I would write their life story!

Uh…no! In case you didn’t understand, let me repeat – NO!  Besides, I am a far cry from being an expert in the field of writing.

I listened on the phone for an hour last night to someone relating their personal life experiences to me. This is an acquaintance, and not someone I’m close to. I kept wondering if I could just hang up and pretend we had lost the connection. (I’m sure that violates some Christian code of conduct, so I didn’t). But while murmuring, “Uh huh, yes, okay, hmm,” and a hundred other mundane things to assure her I was listening, I did not find anything unique or appealing in her story.

Finally, I informed her I had to go. I had to do this for my peace of mind. I probably would’ve hung up, except I kept thinking of my daily prayer time when I get to the part of, “Oh, God, use me. Make me a blessing. Make me sensitive to Your Spirit, and help me to see people as You do. Give me a heart of love and compassion for others.”

Yep, I pray that all the time. Be careful what you pray for because God takes your prayers seriously and literally. Having said that, at the conclusion of the phone conversation, this person finally got to the point of the phone call: “Will you write my life story? I’ve lived an amazing life with all the things I’ve been through.”

Hm, let me think about it! Actually, my answer was quick and to the point, an emphatic no. When she kept trying to talk me into it by relaying more tidbits from her life, I finally said, “Listen, I’m currently working on three novels. I refuse to start something new. I pray about what I write, and I can tell you for certain that God is not nudging me or laying it on my heart to write your story.”

She was disappointed, maybe even mad or upset with me. I told her to write her own story. No one else will have the passion to share her life story like she will. Everyone has a story, and perhaps yours should be in print. If you feel that, be kind to others and don’t insist a writer do your job for you.

Enough said!