We Are Not The Devil

In keeping with my theme to write blog posts this year about life experiences that influence my writing, I want to share an adventure from my church heritage.

I come from a long line of Pentecostal believers. Although many will point out the errors and foolery involved in this type of religious experience (as it is with most religions), the good definitely outweighs the bad. At least for me. I would not change my Pentecostal heritage for anything. There are certainly things about it I miss. I thank God for my Pentecostal experiences, but I'll save that for another post.

I gave my heart to Jesus at Bethel Pentecostal Church of God when I was 14. The years I spent in the youth group there are some of my fondest memories. Over 50 years later, and I'm still friends with several from those days -- friends as in we see each other on occasion.

Most of the youth attended every event/service the church had. Besides regular service on Sunday and Wednesday, we had Friday night prayer meeting. One particular Friday, the youth decided to abandon the adults praying around the altar and go into the youth room off the sanctuary.

I was best friends with the pastor's daughter, Carolyn, at the time (typical teens, we all changed best friends frequently). When Carolyn and I got up to join the teens in the youth room, her mother motioned to us to stay where we were. "Everyone should be praying in here," she admonished us.

What teenager wants to be with adults instead of their peers? Especially since it sounded like the teens were praying heaven down. Or possibly fighting the devil. Loud and aggresive prayers could mean either. Carolyn and I felt left out and slightly miffed. "We're going to the bathroom," she whispered to her mother.

The church building had been added on through the years. The women's restroom was off the back sanctuary and had an old open room adjacent to it. The youth room, where the teens were praying, had once faced outside. It had a window facing the door to the restroom. The window had been painted black at one time for privacy, but that paint had flaked in spots.

Carolyn and I peered through the flaked window paint to see what the youth were up to. It sounded like all heaven was coming down. Or hell. Unbeknown to us, the youth felt like the devil's presence  was in the room and they were in the middle of marching around the room and rebuking the devil and his demons.

When they saw eyes peering at them through clear patches in the window, they all screamed and went tearing out of the room into the sanctuary, dropping to their knees by the adults. Hallelujah! Carolyn and I returned to the altar wondering what happened. So we whispered, asking the teens, "What happened in there?"

"We were taking authority over the devil and his demons, and there they were staring at us through the window. Scary eyes and shadowy light behind their heads."

Hm. To this day, I don't remember if we told the youth it wasn't the devil, it was us. I do remember even the adults caught the fire of prayer passion from the teens that night. It was a lively meeting, for sure, regardless of the fact the devil was not watching the youth through the window.

I can't prove it, but I think God chuckled.

God, I thank you for my Pentecostal background. I thank you for pastors Chester and Velma Hamby who helped mold my early walk with Christ. I thank you for the wonderful friends I made in that youth group -- David, Ben, Carolyn, Rachel, Sande, Sally, Barbara L, Barbara D, Willie, Brinda, Tommy, Carol, Josie, Nancy, Gerald, and any I forgot to mention. 

Excerpt From "In An Eveningtide"

Can a woman who has loved a man her whole life forgive him for his betrayal? Can she bring herself to marry him knowing he has never truly loved her?


In An Eveningtide: page 184

Betty couldn’t sleep that night. She tried to pray and couldn’t. She was angry at God. All of her life, she had been the good, sweet girl. The people pleaser. Always doing for others. Why had God let this happen? Hadn’t she prayed her whole life about Josiah? Hadn’t she begged God to make him love her?

She hated Josiah for not loving her. But hadn’t she always known that?  She had lived in fear that he wouldn’t marry her. Now he wanted to marry her. Probably to help hide his affair. She would show him. She wouldn’t marry him.

She groaned, and bit her lip until she tasted blood. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t live without Josiah. She didn’t want to live without him. But the girl – the woman, whoever she was – if Betty ever found out who it was, she would tear her to pieces with her fingernails. What kind of person would try to destroy a good man like Josiah? Only an evil person.

Betty balled her hands and pounded them into her pillow. She was glad she lived alone as her sobs filled the air. She knew Josiah would never fall in love with an evil person. Whoever she was, she must be beautiful and alluring and sweet for Josiah to love her.  Even when Josiah was her husband, would she, whoever she was, still have his heart?

No, not if Betty could help it. She would be the best wife in the world. She would be everything Josiah wanted her to be. She would make him forget this other woman. He would love her. She would make it happen.

https://www.amazon.com/Eveningtide-minister-secrets-Legacy-Secrets-ebook/dp/B01IE2VPZE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1476299293&sr=1-1&keywords=in+an+eveningtide

Off To My First Ever ACFW Conference

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of........"

Naw, I'm not off to see any wizard -- well, unless agents, editors, authors, publishers and the like could be considered wizards. I am sure that they are wizards......of a sort.

In my household, there has been a lot of family drama for weeks now, plus I've had computer problems. Major computer problems. To say that preparing for a major conference is stressful -- at least for me -- and then to have all this added stress with the computer issues and family drama.....let's just say, I could use any and all additional prayers.

As a side note: My husband and I hate drama and friction. We love living a life filled with peace and harmony. But often drama and friction slap us in the face anyway. *heavy heavy sigh* For a large - very large - blended family, we really have been blessed with very little friction and drama.

But back to the conference. I committed my writing to God in the beginning. Having done that, my requirement is to continually learning as much as I can about then craft of writing, strive to do the best I can, work diligently, and endeavor to be positive and bring honor to to God with my writing.

So why am I stressing? Because as humans, it's easy to say we give control of something to God, but it's even easier to take back control. Stress and worrying is exactly that -- us taking control. God is capable of handling our situations, circumstances, and needs. We -- I -- need to just let go and let Him.

Father God, I pray for everyone attending this conference from the leadership on down. You are ultimately in control of the lives of Your children, but only to the extent we allow You control. My destiny, as well as all destinies, of those who commit their lives to You. I thank You in advance for whatever I receive at this conference.

The Brain Tumor That Turned Out to Be Shingles

Pain riddled through the right side of my head, and behind and through my right eyeball. Brain tumor? What else could it be? I don’t get headaches. Or I rarely get headaches and usually it’s sinus related when I do. After the pain waking me up for two nights in a row, I decide to drive myself to an ER (hospital emergency room) on a Monday morning.

Why would a sixty-six year old great-grandmother drive herself to ER? Because my mother-in-law had passed away four days before and my husband was in another city with his father, and my daughters were all at their places of work. Besides, there’s a tad bit of independence leftover from my days as a single mom.

Brain tumor was a mantra running through my thoughts as I drove myself to ER. But? What was the blistery things on my right forehead? Maybe I got bit by a scorpion or brown recluse spider? Wouldn’t that cause my head to hurt? But what about my eye pain? Was my head filled with some venomous insect poison?

Dear God, you do remember I am one of the speakers at a Single Moms Conference in a few weeks?  How can I do that when I can’t even think straight around the pain in my head and eye?

“Shingles,” the ER doctor tells me. Well, I suggested it first. “Please tell me this isn’t shingles,” I say. “Yes, I’m afraid it is,” he replies. “Noooooooo,” I respond, followed by, “At least it isn’t a brain tumor.” Doctor, “Or an aneurysm.”

I text my husband and daughters that I am in ER and have shingles. My youngest daughter, Heather, leaves work to join me. Armed with prescriptions, we leave the ER. Thump thump thump goes my van. I pull into a CVS parking lot and my front tire has a huge bubble in it. Seriously? This happened two weeks prior on the other front tire. Pow! Bubble pops and two women entering CVS come running over. “Are you okay? Were you shot at?”

If I was being shot at, why would you come running over? I wanted to ask them that, but I was in pain and extremely frustrated over another bubble-popped tire. Heather showed up to drive me home, then pick up my meds and some lunch for us. Her husband and sons (my son-in-law and grandsons) arrived to get my keys to retrieve my van after they changed the tire.

Heather and family left, granddaughter Hailey staying with me until her mom, my daughter, Denise, shows up to relieve her. By 9:00 PM, the pain in my eye had increased to a steady hot-knife-continually-stabbing-my-eye pain.

Denise drove me back to the ER where my daughter, Stephanie, and husband, Jeff, soon joined us. Unlike earlier that morning, the evening ER was crowded with people. After an hour or two, I was writhing in pain. “What ER lets a sixty-six year old woman in pain wait this long to get seen?” I whine.

Many pain-filled hours later with no relief from the knife stabbing my eye, they knock me out and admit me to the hospital. Tuesday is lost to me. I have vague memories of visitors (I was in isolation. Apparently my shingles was contagious for chicken pox), and numerous doctors and nurses checking in on me – taking my vitals, drawing blood, looking in my eye, adjusting my IV, injecting pain meds in my IV, giving me oral meds. On top of all that, I continued to vomit throughout the day and night.

On the fourth day I am sent home with eye drops, 4 pain meds and antiviral medicine in pill form. I see an eye doctor who prescribes more eye drops, one a steroid to promote healing and the other an antiviral drops. Mr. Eye Doctor came to see me in the hospital. He is not hospital staff. He was rude and rough. I vaguely remember and my family, several were there in my room, tell me how rude he was. I politely tell him how rude he was, and, sigh, he apologizes. At least he didn’t deny he was rude.

For over a week, my right eye oozed yellow gunk that stuck my eye together. But the good news is that the shingles virus that got into my eye did not cause vision loss.

I have not written or read anything for two weeks. My dear husband got me a new laptop for Mother’s Day and I have not felt well enough to play with it. God is good and prayer works. So many people were praying for me. I am blessed by amazing family and friends.

If you have NOT gotten a shingle vaccination, let me encourage you to do so. 

Mother's Day 2015

Mothers. Mother’s day. The day we honor mothers everywhere. If you have been blessed with a wonderful mother, then thank God. Not everyone is so fortunate. My dear mother has been gone for a year and a half now. Was she a perfect mother? No, but she was a good mother and loved us.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother. Or a perfect person. We are all flawed and fallible. I was a young mother – very young – three children by the time I was nineteen years old and two more by the time I was twenty-five. I was a grandmother ay thirty two. I have a lot of failures and regrets as a mother and grandmother.

But God is faithful. When I look back at that young, frustrated, high-strung, frightened, overwhelmed young mother I was, I want to hug her for every time she cried herself to sleep in defeat. I want to tell her to do the best she can in the circumstances she is dealing with.

There’s no magic formula for being a good mother. Except prayer. Prayer is a vital key. Don’t overlook it and don’t underestimate it. God, through your prayers, will make up the difference in your lack of parenting skills. It may take years before you're aware of this, but it will happen. 

If you’re children are small, shower them with love and make wonderful memories. If your children are gown and you are now a grandmother and great-grandmother like me, let it go.  My advice is simply this – forgive yourself.

Healing came to me when I allowed God to get it through my heart and spirit that I did the best I could while struggling in an unhappy, dysfunctional marriage. So this Mother’s Day in 2015, celebrate mothers everywhere. Celebrate you! 

When The World Spins Out of Control!

Everyday there is something in the news that causes fear among the people of our nation. Diseases, terrorists, economics, political battles, special interest group agendas, and the list goes on. 

As Christians now is not the time to let down on our prayers. We should be praying and bombarding heaven as never before. But do we? I'm as guilty as anyone of allowing "things" to distract me. Some days I just can't seem to muster the energy or time to pray.

God forgive me!

I have a large family. Yes, I know I've said that before. But in a family my size, there will always be a crisis, circumstance, or a need that needs God's intervention. Often we don't even realize what's going on. 

BUT! God, the Holy Spirit, always knows. Have you ever been praying and begin to weep and travail without understanding why? I do, frequently! Probably because my family is so large and the Spirit is prompting me to pray for something I'm unaware of. Sometimes I weep in prayer over things I am aware of. 

Romans 8: 26 (NIV) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Philippians 4: 6 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, we're told to pray without ceasing. Of course we can't pray 24 hours a day, but God is instructing us to always be in an attitude of prayer as we function throughout our normal day activities. You can breathe a prayer or pray in your mind at any time and anywhere. 

Please, during these troublesome times, I encourage you to not let down your prayer guard. We need to be praying like never before. 

Always In His Care

God is always faithful, always at work in the lives of his children. Sometimes we stray from His will and plan for us, but we are never out of His care. If Jesus loves us enough to die for us, then He loves us enough to take care of us. He always, always knows where we’re at and what we’re facing.

While shopping this morning for half price Easter candy – admit it, we love to get a bargain on chocolate – I ran into an old friend, Jim. I met him and his family at church years ago. Their two daughters became friends with my daughters. His wife, Inge, and I became friends. The unique thing about them is that in addition to their two daughters and son, they always had several foster children.

Over the course of time, they adopted one of the foster girls, then within a few years, they adopted another foster child, a boy of different racial background. And they continued to be foster parents.

Inge has suffered with different ailments over the years, a brain tumor, and kidney failure. My daughters and I have stayed in contact with their daughters via Facebook. Last week Inge had a kidney transplant. The miraculous thing is the baby boy they adopted twenty seven years ago was a match, not any of her biological children. A decision years ago to change the life of one child by giving him a permanent family has had an impact this family never imagined. But God knew.

Last week Inge’s daughter and son stopped by to buy my book Like A Cedar In Lebanon for Inge to read while recuperating. When I saw Jim in Fry’s store this morning, I inquired how Inge and their son are doing. Among other things, he said, “Inge loves your book. So you’ve become a writer. That’s great.”

Had he stopped at, “Inge loves your book,” it would’ve been an encouragement. But, in the midst of his own storm with both a wife and son recovering from major surgery and the vigil to see if Inge’s body accepts this kidney, Jim began to speak life into my heart and spirit – about my writing and life in general.

Standing next to tables of marked-down Easter candy in a busy grocery store, tears sprang to my eyes. It felt like Jesus was breathing encouragement to my troubled spirit. You see, I have an alcoholic son. He has managed to destroy everyone and everything in his life. Whenever his name shows on my phone, I groan. He is so messed up and mixed up, it’s heart-wrenching for me to have any contact with him.

I have been praying lately, “God, whatever it takes, do SOMETHING!”  If you think of it, please pray for my son for deliverance, and pray for a speedy recovery for Inge and her son. If God knew twenty-seven years ago that a baby boy would be instrumental in saving his adoptive mother's life, then God knows and cares about whatever you may be facing today.

Praying Scripture Over Your Writing

I love how God reminds us of his faithfulness to us. When I pray, I always quote scriptures of promise that goes along with whatever particular thing I’m praying about. Didn’t Jesus himself quote scripture at Satan when Satan was trying to tempt him after his 40 day fast?  If Jesus did it, then we definitely need to. If you aren’t currently utilizing scripture in your prayer time, I encourage you to do so.

As it pertains to my writing career – or lack of one, depending on how you look at it – these are some scriptures I use:

John 14:13-14 (NIV) ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it

James 5:16 (NIV) ^16………The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Psalm 84:11 (ESV) ¹¹ For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Psalm 37:4 (NIV) ⁴ Take delight in the Lord,  and he will give you the desires of your heart

Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) ⁶ And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

We all go through slumps, dry times, times of discouragement and doubt. That’s what makes us human. I have been praying a lot lately – more than I normally do – about this season of my life, asking God if writing is what I’m really supposed to be doing. He sent several reminders within the past few days that writing is what is ordained for my life at this time.

Be encouraged, dear friend. God knows exactly where you’re at and what He desires for your life right now. Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. (Philippians 1:6) He is faithful.

Show Me The Money!

Like many couples, my husband and I often struggle financially. I retired in 2011, although I was young and healthy enough to still work. **uh, cough, could! I consider 62 young enough** My husband works hard, but in the construction line of business he’s in, if he doesn’t work, he doesn’t make money.

My SS check every month isn’t that much. I do some selling on eBay and Amazon, but the bottom line is that I don’t contribute much to our income. I was so zealous to be retired and finally devote my time to writing, but let’s face it. For many writers, it’s not very lucrative. Truthfully, most of the time, we spend more in our pursuit of writing than we bring in.

Recently I have felt the pressure in my lack of ability to contribute more to our income. It has made me question my quest in writing. As a Christian writer, I’ve heard so many say, “It’s not about the money as long as we bless and minister to others with our writing.”

Well, okay, BUT! Does the Christian plumber, fireman, doctor, nurse, or store manager say that? We can bless and minster to others with our writing without being made to feel guilty because we expect or hope to receive monetary recompense. There is nothing wrong with that!

So, where does that leave me right now? I’m not sure. I am praying and asking God for guidance. I love being retired. I love having time for just me. It seems like I’ve taken care of others, and looked after everyone else since I was sixteen years old. I was a wife and mother then. But I’ve asked God the last few days if I need to be looking for a part time job.

I’m just being real. I don’t have an answer right now, but I serve the One who does. In the meantime, I’ll write and write and write because I love it. 

Why Do I Write?

 I cringe whenever a writer asks about my book Like a Cedar in Lebanon. I especially cringe whenever a writer asks to read, or does read, my book. I know I’ve said this before, and I feel like I’m repeatedly beating a dead horse, but, excellent writing techniques are lacking in my book. The most blatant is head-hopping or going back and forth with characters’ POV (point of view).

I ask myself again, WHY DO I WRITE? What purpose do I want to accomplish?

In my prayer time, those times when I truly press into the presence of God, my heart cry is, “God, I want to show people You! Show them that Your love never fails, that You restore, repair and give hope and life to a broken humanity.”

That message is clearly evident in Like a Cedar in Lebanon.  So why fuss, then, about the fact I head-hop in my book? Of course, we should care about doing our best for the Lord. But the fact that I do head-hop, does not dilute the message of my book.

Someday, I'll rewrite my book. I have promised myself this. Why? Because I love this book. I love my characters. 

God, I commit all that I write to You. May I bring You glory. This came to me yesterday, via facebook from my daughter, Denise:

Denise Bills Walker

Yesterday

A Pharmacist at work read your book....wrote a review recommending it to all 16 yr old & up girls. Best book she's read, she started to cry saying that she has a family member (he) that needs to read it, restoration & forgiveness IS possible — with Leola McCurdy Ogle.

Those Pesky New Year's Resolutions!

New Year’s resolutions! Bah humbug! Why do I make them every year? Why don’t I keep them? Here are my 2013 resolutions:

·         Lose weight. (Naw, didn’t happen. In fact, I think I’ve put on 5 extra pounds during the year of 2013)

·         Exercise daily, or at least 3 times week. (Ugh! Yeah, so did NOT happen! My total days of exercise could fill up a month’s calendar and that’s it)

·         Passionately pursue my writing career via editors, publishers, and agents. (That whoosh sound you hear is the loudest sigh to ever pass my lips. I did NOT even approach anyone in the agent/publishing field, which is grand puzzlement to me. WHY? Why didn’t I?)

·         De-clutter my house and garage. (I border on being a hoarder – not visible inside my house, but I know it’s there in closets, drawers, cabinets and garage. I have made progress with this resolution in 2013)

·         Pay off/down credit cards. (This only works if you have sufficient income during the year, which we did not. Consequently, our credit card debt is higher going into 2014)

·         Eat healthier. (Yeah, this pesky resolution is right up there with the weight loss/exercise one)

·         Pray more. (I did okay with this one, but I could’ve done better)

·         Read the Bible more. (I am ashamed to say I failed with this one)

 

I am a faithful New Year’s Resolutions setter. I set them; I usually don’t follow through, though. Am I setting more this year? You betcha – and probably the same as the above!

I know, I know! What can I say? I love setting goals and having to-do lists, even if I don’t make it happen. Pray for me, will you? My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak.  

It's Not About The Money

“It’s not about the money!” We’ve heard that statement from politicians, actors, athletes, celebrities, and many others. My husband says every time you hear it, you can take it to the bank that it is about the money.

When I started my writing journey, I had visions of earning a comfortable living, people clamoring to be my agent or publisher, and even movie offers for one of my novels. Aren’t we all dreamers? Don’t we all want recognition for our accomplishments? It reminds me of that song we sang in church when I was a child –This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.

What is the purpose of having a light if we don’t let it shine? With my first completed novel, I expected the world to love it like I did. Well, if not the world, at least an agent or publisher. When that didn’t happen – and I must confess that I didn’t try very hard – I began the journey of discouragement and questioning whether writing was really what I should be doing.

So I did what I’ve done my entire life, I began to earnestly pray about it. Lots of tears and fears accompanied my prayers. The sweetest thing the Lord spoke into my spirit during that time was, “Who are you, Leola? Are you who others say you are or are you who I say you are?”  When the great “I Am” speaks, we better listen.

Now I write for the glory of God – with the hope I make some money in the process. The first half of that sentence sounds pious and sanctimonious, so I included the second part. As Christians, everything we do should be for the glory of God.  And the money would be nice too.

There’s nothing wrong with desiring to make money with writing. I repeat, there’s nothing wrong with that. As we surrender our desires and expectations to God, we free Him to open doors and make things happen. My heart’s desire became, “God, I want to touch others, minister to others through my writing.”

Lord, today I pray for those who are struggling with doubts and discouragement about their writing career. Envelop them with Your presence and love. Encourage their hearts, and reveal Your will to them. In Jesus name, Amen!

I Have A Dream

I have a dream! It’s a dream I’ve had for quite some time. It is a dream to be a writer. Not just a writer, but someone whose words tell a story that touches hearts---that shows humanity in all its grandeur, nobility, depth of kindness and goodness, failures, weaknesses, cruelty, selfishness, and inhumanity—and God’s ability to restore, change, give hope and purpose through His unconditional love. I want to make people laugh, cry, rejoice and grieve.

Mostly I want others to see the goodness and faithfulness of a God who has never failed me. Though I often didn’t understand, though I often shook my fist and ranted and railed, and blamed Him for my circumstances, I know now that He always wanted the best for me, and loves me in a way my human mind can’t fathom.

The writing of Like A Cedar In Lebanon was done with many tears and prayers. Since it’s been published, every day I place my hand on it and pray over it, asking God to touch someone, anyone, everyone with this story.

My challenge to you for the year 2013 is to pray and seek God over your writing. Ask God’s blessing over what you write.

Yacolt, Washington

       Yacolt, Washington! Have you ever heard of it?  I hadn’t.  I’m somewhat familiar with Washington from visits as a child (we have relatives there) and visits there in the last ten years while my daughter and her family lived in the Seattle area. Why am I mentioning Yacolt? Glad you asked.
       In crafting my current novel, Like a Cedar in Lebanon, I needed a small town in the state of Washington of 1500 population or less, and the town needed to be within the proximity of fifty miles of a large city. Ah, the blessed internet! I did a search for that very information and got a list of several small towns, Yacolt being the last on the list. The main character, Lebby, would hail from this tiny community. So I wrote it into my novel after some research to verify it met the criteria I needed.
       However, some things I couldn’t glean from research on the internet such as, could Lebby walk from home to school to the local hangout to the church? From writers’ groups that I belong to I remembered a few authors mentioning how residents were quick to point out wrong information about their hometown that were in novels. Yikes! I decided to make a fictitious name of my small community.
       I have sold on eBay since 2004. It gives me extra income, something I can do from the comfort of my home. Within the week that I changed Yacolt in my novel, I sold a small vintage toy on eBay. Guess where the buyer lives? Now what are the chances it would be a resident of Yacolt? Mere coincidence or a God-thing?
       When I mentioned to the buyer that I had considered using Yacolt in my novel, she was thrilled. She supplied me with all the information that I needed while encouraging me to keep Yacolt in my novel.  So my main characters, Jack and Lebby, meet for the first time in Yacolt, Washington.
       When we pray over our writing career, I believe God orchestrates even small details such as this.