Confessions of A Not-So-Skilled Writer

When I started my book Like A Cedar in Lebanon two years ago—it was during NaNoWriMo in 2010—I knew practically nothing about the craft of writing. Dare I even confess to fellow writers who may be reading this that I never even completed high school? I married just before my junior year. I did later—much later—get my GED and took some college classes, but nothing related to writing.

Who knew? Certainly not me--that having a good story and a fairly good grasp on proper grammar did not a good writer make. By the time I knew at least SOME skills in the craft of writing, I was 112,000 words and almost to the end of Like A Cedar In Lebanon. Then I was faced with the difficult choice of completely revising my manuscript, or leaving it as is. A complete revision of something that large seemed overwhelming to me. I literally had heart palpitations and sleepless nights pondering this dilemma. My indecisiveness was exacerbated by the fact that this manuscript was already in the publisher’s hands.

So what did I do? I did do some revisions, but basically I left it as is, except for grammar, spelling, and formatting issues. So--fellow writers, editors, publishers, agents—if you read my novel (and that’s wishful thinking on my part), YES, I head hop (not staying in the proper POV), I have too many characters and too much back story, I tend to tell and not show, and perhaps use too many exclamation points, or ellipses, or dashes, or whatever.

Here is my public apology for all of you who are offended by such things, or for those whose nerves are frazzled whenever they read a book where these things are evident. I am guilty. Ironically, the more I learn about all the little, or not-so-little, nuances pertinent to the craft of writing, I, too, pick apart a book I’m reading. But in a good way, not to be mean or critical. I’m just pleased, or maybe I’m more displeased, that I am able to spot these things.

Somehow, for me, it takes the joy out of reading.

A Cougar Wins!

I won! I won, I won, I won! Yeppers, I am a winner. No one could have been more shocked and surprised than me. I have entered a few writing contests on Christian sites.

I always do the weekly challenge with FaithWriters—if you’re not currently a member, I encourage you to join and enter the challenge; it’ll improve your writing skills—and I place sometimes on there. I’ve entered other contests with no results, really! But now…now I am a winner! I won the FaithWriters annual Page Turner Contest. This year it asked for non-fiction entries. They alternate—one year it’s fiction, the next year, it’s non-fiction. I’m not much of a non-fiction writer, but I do have an interesting, trendy story right now in that I am a cougar.

Ew, I don’t like being called cougar. The image it evokes is not good, at least to me. But Jeff and I have been married (second for both of us) for 18 years after dating for almost 4 years. I am 16 years older than Jeff.

That was my entry: How Does A Harmless House Cat Become A Cougar? And I won. Look for the book. Hopefully it’ll be coming out next year. Can you have a successful marriage when the woman is so much older? What are the challenges in a blended family where the woman is the older one?

Read the book.

Pushing Through Discouragement

Why do writers write? Are you a writer? What drives you? What motivates you? I write because I can’t “not” write. Ideas, story plots, characters, and conflicts flow through my mind like butter melting on toast. My characters in Like A Cedar in Lebanon became as real to me as people that I know. I want to write edgy Christian fiction that deals with real problems: abortion, abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, murder, rape, unfaithfulness, divorce, adoption—you get my idea. I’ve worked with people in ministry most of my life. These things happen, and they happen in the church world. In the midst of all of that, I want to hopefully show God’s heart for people. And although people fail, God never does. In Like A Cedar In Lebanon, both Jack and Lebby learn what true forgiveness is, that God is a faithful God, that He can restore and truly bring good out of bad. My writing journey has been full of disappointments and discouragement, but I wouldn’t give up. I prayed continually over my writing journey. If God wasn’t involved in it, I didn’t want to be a writer. My challenge to you is to persevere, push through disappointment and discouragement. If you have the passion and drive to write, believe that God put it there.

God Is Faithful - Like A Cedar In Lebanon

"Mom, the only good that's come from my relationship with Jack is Joyanna and Pauly. What other good can come from this? Nothing, Mom! Not one thing!" (excerpt - Lebby to her mother in Like A Cedar In Lebanon") Have you ever felt like Lebby? We make choices, and then look for someone of something to blame when things go wrong. I married very young. I was barely sixteen years old and he was eighteen. I was in love with love and the thought of being a wife and mother. By the time I realized I was in a bad relationship, I had brought five children into the world. Lebby, in “Like A Cedar In Lebanon,” feels trapped. I felt trapped – angry, depressed, hopeless and helpless. As a writer, I weave tales based on my own life experiences, either personally or people I have known or worked with throughout the years. I find there’s a two-fold result from that: it either dredges up painful memories, and I hurt all over again, or I find healing in writing about it. God proves himself faithful to both Jack and Lebby in Like A Cedar In Lebanon, just as he proved himself faithful to me all these years. As we close the month of November, I am so thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. The road hasn’t been easy, but I’ve never walked alone.

Forgiveness

My book is finally out “Like A Cedar In Lebanon.”  My first published book!  Well, okay, I HAD it published—self-publishing, but I am excited nonetheless.

One of the key points of the book is forgiveness and reconciliation. Lebby (Lebanon), the heroine is an innocent, naïve girl raised in a Pastor’s home when Jack comes to town. Jack is handsome and charming and sweeps the young girl off her feet. From that point on Lebby’s life spirals downhill in a web of abuse and deceit, later forcing her to flee with her two babies and go into hiding.

Years later, Jack finds them and claims to be a new man.  Can Lebby trust him? More importantly, can she forgive him? He stole her youth, her innocence and is essence, her life. Now she’s made a new life, a wonderful life, for her and her children. To do so, she had to sever all relationships with her family and friends in her hometown of Yacolt, WA.

Both Jack and Lebby learn a valuable lesson in true forgiveness.

Get the book. It’s worth the read!

NaNoWriMo Woes

        Every time I start a new NaNoWriMo, I threaten to kick myself. I have three such novels of 50,0000 words and more that I need to finish. Why start a new one?

        Why indeed! Here I am typing my little fingers to the bone with a new novel (and way ahead of my word count, I might add) Seriously? I love my other novels. I want to finish them.  I can’t believe I’m doing this again.

        Never, ever, in my wildest imagination did I think that writing could be so time consuming. I thought it was like the movies----a remote cottage, gentle breezing blowing through a window, soft music playing, some devoted someone bringing in coffee or iced drinks and delicious sandwiches.
        Even in the movie Misery, the main character , an author, played by James Caan, who was in excruciating pain inflicted by the demented Kathy Bates, who also tormented him mentally, managed to crank out an entire novel. In the midst of all that, he made the novel writing look so easy.
        But alas, I suppose ‘No pain, No gain’ as the saying goes. So I lie in bed each night with my novel unfolding like scenes from a movie (that’s what pantsters do—no plotting for me) until I want to scream, “Leave me alone so I can sleep!”
        NaNoWriMo, how I loathe thee.…I mean, oh, how I love thee.

Book Burning!

           I told my friend Barbara recently that if I had to read my book, Like a Cedar in Lebanon, one more time, I’m going to burn the thing. So…I’m having to read it AGAIN! Before publishing. Should I burn it?
         Of course I won’t burn it, although I feel like. I just want to move on, go forward with something else, write on one of the other three novels that are a work in process. I so want to be done with this book.
         Having said that, I must admit that my characters in Like a Cedar in Lebanon have become dear friends to me, like family. Often, at the most inopportune times, my characters pop into my brain, and scenes from my novel float through my mind. Sometimes I want to rewrite those scenes, but of course, it’s too late.
         So I think I want to do a sequel, carry on Jack’s and Lebby’s legacy. That’s one of the joys about writing! I can do that! I can do anything I want.
        But a writer is only as successful as the enjoyment of the readers.  Some may debate that statement, but that’s where I am at in this juncture of my writing journey.